A Letter To My Daughter
My sweet snuggle bunny,
Today you turned another month older. I went into your room this morning, singing the same morning song that I have sang since you were born, and you saw me and smiled. This has been our routine, but it dawned on me, like it always does every month...you're growing. Fast. And I get this confusing emotion every time. You see one of the most important things to your mommy is TIME. Time...we measure it in seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, and years. And every time you turn another month older, I smile out of excitement and amazement of who you are becoming. But at the same time my heart does this "achey thing", and I quickly fast forward your life in my mind. Instead of being happy in that very moment, I quickly think "Oh my goodness she is going to be a year old", and I get sad. "Oh no where is my baby going", and I get desperate to hold onto these first few months of your life. I think all mommies do this. But I have to let you know something, your mommy is absolutely in love with you. Crazy about you. I don't think I have ever kissed someone so much as I have kissed you. I don't think I have ever watched someone sleep, and it bring tears to my eyes. That a song could bring a smile to my face, because I remember it from the day you entered this world.
You see when you were first born, people told me (and continue to tell me) "Don't blink". My sweet love, I have remembered that, and have tried to keep my eyes peeled way back so that I don't miss one moment. But guess what? No matter if mommy had her eyes super glued back, TIME would still go by fast. So I ask myself "How can I slow this down?" as I try to have a tight grip on your childhood. Maybe instead of me being sad about you growing up, I should just acknowledge these ever so precious moments in your life. All the precious late night feedings, every snuggle, every early morning squeal. Maybe instead of saying "Oh no", I should say "Oh my my my, look at this beauty. Look at this blessing."
You see I needed you in my life. I needed my heart and my mind to get through a major overhaul. You made a change in my life, to where all my priorities are so crystal clear. My purpose in life is defined. My heart grew even bigger, and I learned to show compassion and positivity to others. I took a look at things and people I exposed myself to, and questioned if they were good enough for you to be exposed to. I quickly looked back at those who had failed me in my childhood, and I swore that I would do my absolute best to give you those beautiful moments, so that you would have a smile and not pain.
So I thank you today and show gratitude for your time here on earth. I love watching you grow and I look forward to all that this life will bring us. I pray when I am no longer here on this earth, you will look back at your life with your mommy and daddy and have the richest, most beautiful memories of how we spent our time. Simple times of snuggles, kisses, dancing in the kitchen, playing in the rain, bed time stories, and morning cartoons in bed.
Today instead of saying "Oh no" I say "Oh my my my. What a beauty she is".
Love,
Your Mama
💟