Truths: I have been a hypocrite!

I have been a hypocrite.

Funny story about me. When I got my second tattoo, I wanted the word Unashamed on my wrist. A few years ago, white ink tattoos were the thing, and they would heal to look almost like a scar. And that is what I wanted…Unashamedin white ink. The tattoo shop didn’t have any white ink at the time, but the artist explained to me that he had “black light ink”, meaning you could only see it under a black light. He assured me that when it healed, it would look exactly like the dainty design I had imagined.

Nope.

Turns out you could only see my Unashamed if you went bowling (you had to stay for the late night bowling), or a dark strip club (so I've been told).

There have been times in my life where I have been too scared to own it. Too many times I have preached self-confidence to others, or firmly believed that you shouldn’t care about what others think. You own who you are and wear it proudly for others to see. But for years I wouldn’t do just that. I would try to be someone else and do what they would do. Or buy what they would buy. Instead of being inspired by that person, I would try to become that person.

My true self was a lot like the Unashamed tattoo…you never really saw it glowing except in certain places or situations.

I actually started Truths and Gratitude right after my sweet girl was born. This was almost two years ago, but I didn’t include pictures of myself or any information about me. I didn’t want anyone to know it was me behind the keyboard.

What if people thought it wasn’t good enough?

What if people asked me why was I doing this?

What if they said "who does she think she is"?

What if they made fun of me behind my back?

Instead anytime I felt inspired, I would write, but then would never own my words that came from a special place. Words that would have power and could help one person…nope, not me!

There have been so many times I have written in my daughters journal, telling her to always be her true self. To celebrate her uniqueness and be proud of where she comes from. To love herself inside and out. That she had all of these wonderful qualities that her father and I loved about her. And I was a hypocrite, because I couldn’t follow my own advice. “Do as I say…not as I do”.

Baby, be proud of your strong healthy body (as I cover up and worry about my 2 year old post-partum pooch)

Baby, continue to see what is important in this life and stay passionate and inspired (as I continue to grow but am too afraid to talk about it)

Baby, remember to own your voice and speak up for what is right (as I write things that come from the heart, but don’t want to put my name on it)

I have mentioned to my husband many times, about my love for writing, and dreams of one day having a book of my own. This is a big dream that seemed scary to even say out loud for the universe to hear. But what good is it to live this life in fear of other peoples opinons of us? Does it actually get us anywhere? My favorite author, Rachel Hollis, explained in her most recent book that “Someone elses opinons of you, are none of your business”. Hmm... chew on that for a second.

If I only acted on what people thought I could do, I wouldn’t be doing much.

-No finishing school. 

-No marrying my best friend.

-No becoming a mother.

-No completing a race.

-No teaching what I am most passionate about. 

I have had my fair share of naysayers, and so have you! If I would have tuned into my naysayers, I would live in fear of trying anything that was outside of my comfort zone. Staying in our comfort zone is great for a season, but at some point you gotta' have some growth. When you tune into your confident self, those dreams can become your truths!

I am Truths and Gratitude.

(Brooke)