Guest Takeover: The Psychology behind Gratitude

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are many things that can produce positive feelings of appreciation and gratitude. A sincere ‘Thank You’ often goes further than a lackluster ‘thanks.’ Think about this for a moment. Can you think of an example of a time that involved a strong feeling of gratitude?

Gratitude and appreciation are similar emotions. Most people are unaware of the historical context of gratitude and that it is now becoming an important aspect of positive psychology research.

In everyday life, gratitude is displayed differently than the meaning associated with positive psychology. For example, I tell my significant other ‘thank you for unloading the dishwasher’; however, in positive psychology—gratitude is more than a thank you. It is an emotion. This is important; gratitude transcends a mere ‘thank you’—as an emotion, it serves a purpose.

Positive psychologists define gratitude as, “more than feeling thankful for something, it is more like a deeper appreciation for someone (or something) which produces longer lasting positivity” (Algoe, Haidt, & Gable, 2009).

There are many ways to define gratitude, but one of my favorite definitions comes from Robert Emmons, a researcher on gratitude in psychology. Emmons suggests that gratitude:

“has been conceptualized as an emotion, a virtue, a moral sentiment, a motive, a coping response, a skill, and an attitude. It is all of these and more. Minimally, gratitude is an emotional response to a gift. It is the appreciation felt after one has been the beneficiary of an altruistic act” (Emmons & Crumpler, 2000).

Dr. Robert Emmons (2003) suggests that gratitude involves two stages. Firstly, one must acknowledge the goodness in their lives. When we enter into a state of gratitude, we say yes to life. We acknowledge that after all considered—life is good. There are elements of our life in which we recognize texture and rich detail. These elements make life worth living. The fact that we have received something is gratifying both by the presence of the gift (or deed) and by the effort put forth by the giver. Secondly, we are gratified by recognizing that the sources of goodness exist outside the self. At this point, gratitude is directed to external sources such as people, animals, and to the world. We see the goodness in our lives, but recognize the people or objects who are to thank for this. We recognize those who made sacrifices so that we could be happy. In this way, we appreciate everyone that makes us who we are in our best moments. 

As I mentioned before, there is purpose in gratefulness. People can form new relationships or make their current ones better. You’d be amazed at the impact of appreciation in all social relationships. When someone feels appreciated, they also feel respected. Respect is one of the pillars of a solid relationship. I used to bicker with my significant other for leaving his dirty laundry on the floor of the bedroom or bathroom. He seemed to never be able to make it to the laundry basket. After deciding to try something different, I thanked him and told him I appreciated it when he put his laundry in the basket. After I began exclusively praising him for making it to the basket, guess what?! I rarely find clothing on the floor. This simple change, from scolding to appreciation, increased a positive behavior and a sense of gratitude and decreased the amount of bickering between us. Acts of gratitude can be used to apologize, or to help someone solve a problem. Gratefulness can be intrinsically rewarding as well—gratitude for your health or simply for being alive is a motivator to accomplish tasks.

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Gratitude works! And it can be contagious. Referring back to my laundry basket example, after I started with the appreciation, it caught like wildfire. We thank whomever cooked dinner that night before we begin to eat, I thank him for cutting the grass, he thanks me for fixing his plate, I thank him for giving the dogs a bath, and he thanks me for raising his side of the garage door in the evenings. This has transformed our relationship. I want to consider him in every way that I can because he constantly thinks about me and considers me. Everyone wants to feel appreciated within their relationships, and being grateful for what someone has done for you (the time, the effort, the thought) does just that! What I am describing is commonly referred to as reciprocity—it is the exchange of a positive emotion through acts of gratitude for another person. Reciprocity is also exhibited in the paying it forward movement.

Expressing thanks can also improve your well-being. Studies conducted on gratitude show that grateful people are less neurotic, more open and agreeable; consequently, gratitude is also negatively correlated with depression and positively correlated to life satisfaction (McCullough et al. 2002; Wood, Joseph, & Maltby, 2008). Emmons and McCullough (2003) found that those who focused on gratitude showed significantly more optimism in many areas of their lives; happiness has also been reported to increase after acts of gratefulness.

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Gratitude is very important and can increase our emotional and mental health, as well as our physical health. If you’re looking for a place to begin, or for a task that promotes gratitude, try this!

• Think of someone who has done something important and wonderful for you, yet you feel like you have not properly thanked.

• Next, reflect on the benefits you received from this person, and write a letter expressing your gratitude for all they have done for you. 

• Finally, arrange to deliver the letter personally, and spend time with the person talking about what you wrote. 

I want to thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read this post on gratitude (see what I did there?)



Caitlyn Malone, M.S., NCC

Clinical Mental Health Counselor

The ''T+G Snapshot' with Caitlyn Malone:

Music or Podcasts: Music

Beach or Mountains: Beach

Currently Reading: I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid 

(reading this one...again)

Number of Journals You Own: 3

Your Favorite Adventure: "Hurrication" (I went to Hilton Head during

Hurricane Irma, and had to evacuate north unexpectedly)

One Word to Describe Yourself: Persistent

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Resources

Algoe, S. B., Haidt, J., & Gable, S. L. (2008). Beyond reciprocity: Gratitude and relationships in everyday life. Emotion, 8, 425–429.
Emmons, R.A., Crumpler, C.A. (2000). Gratitude as a human strength: Appraising the evidence. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 19(1), 56-69. doi:10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.56.
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: an experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of personality and social psychology, 84(2), 377.
McCullough, M.E., Emmons, R.A., Tsang, J.A. (2002). The grateful disposition: A conceptual and empirical topography. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 82(1), 112-127. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.82.1.112
Wood, A. M., Maltby, J., Gillett, R., Linley, P. A., & Joseph, S. (2008). The role of gratitude in the development of social support, stress, and depression: Two longitudinal studies. Journal of Research in Personality, 42, 854–871