Truth Seeker: She's Got It All

When I was in college, I would go to school at night and then wait tables during the day. It was my first time being a waitress, and I have to be honest, I was a brat at first. I honestly believed that I was just "too good" to be a waitress. I would compare myself to others and think that it was only temporary, and I would move onto a much better job. 

Well I didn't for a while. After I graduated, no one was returning my phone calls. All applications were online, which didn't give me the chance to actually meet someone face to face. I became jealous of others who had their "dream jobs", and depressed that I was still serving barbecue pork, and picking up my dirty ones that were lying under peoples plates. 

I thought the people who had "the dream jobs" had it all. They were finally at a place in their lives where they felt like they were doing what they were supposed to be doing, and making enough money to help pay for their bills and their pleasures. Here I was watching them be happy, and I would come home every night with a wad of ones that would even make a stripper mad.

One day while waiting tables, one of the "regulars" came in and ordered her same sweet potato and large Arnold Palmer tea. Even though she was a regular, she had never sat in my section, but I knew of her and knew that she had money. So of course that meant that she was going to leave a good tip, right?! Because I did pride myself in saying that I was a very good waitress! After taking her order, she began to ask me my name, if I had gone to school, what was I doing now after school, and if I was married. I began to share my story, and as I was sharing I started to feel her scrutiny, and she stopped me. I will never forget her facial expression and her tone when she decided to ask me, "What does your husband think about you serving tables? I mean does he really want you to be doing this kind of work?". 

At that point, I was actually too shocked to respond the way that I would have loved to. I actually responded by saying that "we do what we can do to make things work". And in that moment I realized that I had done the same exact thing to my girls that I had worked with. Here I was comparing my life to theirs, and actually thinking that just because I had a degree, that meant that somehow I was better off. This was no different than how the lady compared her life to mine, and decided to voice her criticism when she knew nothing about my life.

That job was the hardest job I have ever had...but it also was the most rewarding. I loved my time there with those girls. Chelsea, Aimee, Dana, Krystal, and Brooke taught me so much there. I learned how to treat others, and how not to treat others. I learned if I wanted something, I had to work for it. Not just suck up to get what I want...but actually get my hands dirty. I learned how to sweat (in all the wrong places), and not make excuses when the plates got to heavy to carry. I learned how to laugh off rude customers, and how to give to other girls money, when they had not made a lot that day. I learned how to work with all kinds of people from every walk of life whether we were different in age, race, gender, sexual preference, and some had disabilities.  

I learned how not to compare my life to someone else...and think "oh I am too good for that". You are no better than that waitress who is serving you food. You are no better than that older gentlemen who comes and sweeps your hallway, after everyone has gone home. You are no better than that lady who trims your toenails. 

Sometimes we look at others and think "wow - they have it all". Little do we know what their "all" is defined by. You have your definition of having it all. But having it all differs from person to person. So really comparing ourselves to others, and being jealous of what they have (physical items or not) is useless. Its useless if it doesn't meet our exact of definition of "having it all".

If you had it all, what would that look like to you?

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Do you ever compare your life to others and find yourself thinking you're better? 

What do you think makes you better than them?

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Combat comparison with gratitude. List 5 specific things you are grateful for. 

Moments in your day that literally brought a smile, a laugh or happy tears.

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