Working Mamas vs. Stay-at-Home Mamas
I am a working mom.
I am a stay at home mom sometimes
(two months out of the year... teacher life).
Growing up, I never considered anything different than being a working mom. My mom worked, my aunts worked, and my grandmothers worked. It never crossed my mind to not work... not until I became pregnant with my daughter. While I was pregnant, I remember many people asking me, what I was going to do once she got here. Was I going to stop working? Would I take a year off? Why would I come back to my job? I was coming back to work after only six weeks? Why didn't I take more time off?
I began to wonder if continuing to work was the right choice. I would look at others and the decisions they made, and I tried to fit my family's situation into their mold. It didn't work. In fact, it caused so much stress, sadness and anxiety... so much it landed me into counseling. There I sat on a couch, crying to my counselor, as my baby girl cooed and played in her carrier. I explained to my counselor that I really did love my job, but I also loved my little one too. I didn't want to feel like I had to choose.
Its hard to drop your child off with someone (that at first) you don't know. Its hard hearing that they may have cried for Mama for most of the day. Its hard having only a few hours left in the day, before bath and bedtime. Its hard to not wish the week away, so that you can make it to a long weekend with your babies.
It certainly took time and reassurance from many mentors to get my head right, but eventually I was confident in my decision.
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And then we have the working moms and the stay at home moms.
I was recently told that I didn't know what it was like to be a stay at home mom or how hard it was. To be honest... it bothered me. Because at the end of the day, if we take away all the labels that group us... the only word left is MOM. Being a mom is hard, period. Being a mom is not for the weak. And yet when a mom tells another mom, how they don't know how hard something is, I feel like it is a slap in the face.
We as mothers will face hard things. Your hard may look a lot different than mine. Or it may look the same. But at the end of the day, we must learn to face the hard, and confidently overcome it. No matter if you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom.
There are many stay-at-home moms I know, that are confident in their choice to stay home. They have to manage their day with meal times, play date times, time for themselves (such as a workout), nap times, and maybe a tantrum or two. Some days it can get hard for them, but they are confident to stay with their babies, because they know its whats best for their family.
There are many working moms I know, that are confident in their choice to go to work. They have to manage their day with meetings, work calls, time for themselves (such as a workout), managing others, paperwork, grabbing groceries after work, and maybe a tantrum or two once they pick up their little ones from daycare. Some days it can be discouraging for them, but they are confident in going to work, because they know its whats best for their family.
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Whatever you choose to do, whether you take time off from working, or you go straight back to work... do it confidently. Make your decision and stick to it. Work to be the best version of yourself, whether its while wiping those baby bottoms or during your team meetings. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you are choosing what is best for you and your family, not because of what you feel like your environment is telling you to do. You can stay-at-home and still have goals. You can have a job that you love, and still be a good mother.
May we always remember that no matter what "type of mom" we are, at the end of the day we are all on the same team, and can fully understand what each other is going through.
Because after all... we are strong mamas.