To The Girl That Never Got The Overstuffed Teddy Bear

It's here. The pink and red. The bouquet of roses. And the obnoxiously overstuffed teddy bears. Valentines Day. I've never really been a fan. Well that is actually a lie. During my high school days, I spent a lot of time yearning for attention, seeking confirmation, and always looking for validation. 

I wanted the candies, the cards and the flowers too because it looked like I was so loved. It looked like someone cared for me. In those days, I needed a person to help me feel valued and of importance. I didn't know how to do that myself. I didn't know how to show myself love and grace. There always had to be some pimply boy to do that for me. Maybe that came from a low self esteem. Maybe it came from a father who showed conditional love. Either way it was toxic.

It wasn't until now in my thirties that I am living the truth that I proclaim for myself. Not a truth that is set by my peers. Not a truth that is set by my husband. But how do I love myself? Do I truly love myself? What do I not love about myself?

Does it take things like the overstuffed bear to make me feel loved? Does all of the "self-love" tasks like taking the bubble baths, buying the heels, and eating the kale leave me feeling loved? 

I think not. We can do all the things and buy all the things. Literally, just Google "self-love" and see what ideas pop up. Lists of tasks and check lists appear with things that you could do all in one day and still end up feeling unloved. The process of truly loving yourself starts with turning within. Taking the time to ask yourself not so comfy questions. 

If you were to strip away all of the things and all of the labels, what are you left with? Who is the real you? The truest version of yourself. What do you love about that person?

So, today forget about the teddy bear and the chocolates. You know that those chocolates are going to be on sale soon and what would you do with that bear anyways? Sit with yourself and look within. Write yourself a love letter. Compliment yourself. Brag on yourself. Don't rely on anyone else to do that for you. 

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes. It comes from the book/movie The Help.

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

-Kathryn Stockett